Holding Steady with Gratitude, Sacred Rituals, and the Spirit of St. Clare
Can small acts of thanks help us belong to ourselves, each other, and God?
I often wonder about the treasures of gratitude that I hold in my heart. Do they matter, I sometimes ask. What is their purpose? Why do I do this?
Like a gentle wind blowing, I am reminded of the many saints that have gone before me — many great women and men — who have forged their way in life, one grateful step at a time. If they can do it, one grateful step at a time, can’t I also?
They have become saints because of the grand things they have accomplished in the name of God. Most of us will never be canonized as a saint, but that doesn’t mean our lives are not saintly. If you believe in the existence and presence of God, then you are a saint, and so am I.
“So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God’s household,” — Ephesians 2:19, NASB
Being a saint doesn’t mean you are better than anyone. After all, we are all human and have human tendencies and emotions. We also have our share of hiccups in life — some more than others, and some more than we think we can bear. Yet, others, we scoop up, toss aside, and say, “Bye Felicia!”
Over the years, I have learned how to use gratitude to see God and myself more lovingly, especially during hiccups in life. Here’s the secret: gratitude. Ssshhh. Don’t tell anyone.
It is in the pondering of my gratitude that I know there is something greater to explore, both within me and in the great, holy cosmos. I am but one lonely soul, but I belong to a great God who places me amongst many other souls, and together we forge life, picking each other up from time to time, reminding each other of the Great Love that holds us deeply and without shame.
Let us seize the day and the opportunity and strive for that greatness of spirit that measures life not by its disappointments but by its possibilities, and let us ever remember that true gratitude and appreciation shows itself neither in independence nor satisfaction but passes the gift joyfully on in larger and better form.
—W.E.B. Du Bois
I struggle with anxiety, and have most of my life, but it wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I acknowledged my anxiety as a thing I needed to manage. Sometimes I recognize how anxiety ushers me into fear, but anxiety can also protect me from stepping in a direction that I need not go.
It is in recognizing and acknowledging my anxiety that I also learned to stop the fear in its tracks and think about the wonderful possibilities by asking myself, “What if everything goes well?” This is a way for me to stop my brain from moving quickly into the stage of fear.
Oh, the many years I allowed fear to steer the car, allowing it to take control, stopping me from moving forward with a dream or something that would be good for me. Now, I have learned to pause and think about how things might end if they go well. Whew! What a shift!
My husband, Chris B. MASF/ My Soulbriety, told me a story about his father, who used the mantra EGBOK (Everything is Going to Be Okay). Now, I admit that if you tell me that in a heightened state of anxiety, I don’t always receive that well. In fact, when my husband said that to me in the past, I could be heard saying, “No! It doesn’t feel that way!”
And yet, right there, that is me acknowledging my anxiety. A few deep breaths later, and some butterfly taps on my chest, and I begin to lean into grounding myself in calm and peace.
If you read butterfly taps and wonder what that is, read to the end where I share the process.
First, let’s get back to the gratitude that continues to grow within me. Each day, I begin by sharing my gratitude with God, thanking God for many things or small details that have recently surfaced. I could walk you through the scientific and psychological benefits of gratitude, but you can Google those things. You could also read the multitude of essays and meditations I have written about gratitude because that is how much I believe in it.
For over fifteen years, I have poured my gratitude onto paper, and in return, it has quietly expanded my heart, deepening my love for God, for the sacredness within myself, for the creatures who share this earth, and for the earth herself. Gratitude has become a lens through which I now see the holy in what once seemed ordinary, the divine shimmer in what others might overlook.
I find myself stopping to gaze at a blade of grass, knowing that God created it and it would eventually multiply and become a lush and beautiful lawn or a grassy meadow for me to sit in, lie upon, and revel in its softness as the sun gently touches my cheeks.
I am forever changed by these small gratitudes that have become larger gratitudes within my soul.
It is in these moments of gazing that I sense the greatness and presence of God. I wonder if you would wander with me, into your soul, just as I have, and gaze at the small beauties in your life, take a breath, and thank God for those beautiful gifts that surround you.
And yet, for those moments when you feel yourself getting anxious, stop and try Butterfly Tapping.
Cross your hands across your chest so that your thumbs are touching. Spread your hands out, making the shape of a butterfly, and alternate tapping one hand on your chest in a slow, rhythmic motion.
Take a deep breath in. Hold it for 7 counts and exhale for 8 counts.
As you continue to tap slowly and rhythmically, repeat a calming statement. “I am calm and at peace.” “I am here now.” “I am safe.” I tend to use “I am here now” because it reminds me to stay in the present, allowing my thoughts to shift from swirling to gratitude.
Continue this process for several minutes or as long as you need. Once finished, pause and reflect on how you feel. Let your breath return to a normal rhythm.
I am forever changed by my gratitude, sacred rituals, and the spirit of St. Clare, through a prayer for her sister, Agnes (below). Sometimes, it’s about stopping to remind yourself what is yours to do in this world … and only yours.
It is then that I am reminded and deeply grateful for how God has woven me to have a particular set of gifts that I can share with the world.
A prayer from St. Clare to her sister, Agnes.
What you hold, may you always hold.
What you do, may you do and never abandon.
But with swift pace, light step,
unswerving feet,
so that even your steps stir no dust,
go forward
securely, joyfully, and swiftly,
on the path of prudent happiness,
believing nothing
agreeing with nothing
which would dissuade you from this resolution
or which would place a stumbling block for you on the way,
so that you may offer your vows to the Most High
in the pursuit of that perfection
to which the Spirit of the Lord has called you.
So be it, so be it. Amen.
May you know that you are loved because you matter.
May your soul be refreshed.
sdg