Busy Yet Empty: Why the World Needs More Presence and Less Rush
Nurturing your soul in a world focused on constant achievements: Is it possible?
My husband and I were evaluating our lives and how we operate in the world and we stumbled across a statement that made us both pause.
There’s been a lot of doing and not enough being.
In other words, when we do too much — even when it seems like “good” stuff, are we allowing some “being” into the mix? Are we taking time to be who we were created to be?
For instance, I love to create stuff. I like to paint, shoot photos, garden, and cook. That’s a short list. Maybe that spurred some thoughts for you.
The deeper issue — I end up telling myself a story that I need to “do” in order to “be” and really I just need to “be.”
Do you find yourself making lists for every day? Is your to-do list endless, leaving you overwhelmed and feeling exhausted?
Stop and ask yourself this question: is that ok? Is it ok that you don’t complete the to-do list?
You know that popular saying, “Don’t just sit there, do something!” How about we flip it on its head to read …
Don’t just do something, sit there.
It might seem counterintuitive, but isn’t it too easy to get caught up in the go-go-go and forget about the value of being present to yourself and others?
That brings up the next question: What is truly important to you?
When I reflected upon doing too much and not being, I realized I was attaching “doing” to my worth. I am not valid or enough unless I’m doing something. Also, I was born into a family that attached money as an incentive to “do.”
My parents would dangle $50 as the incentive for getting A’s on my report card. Let me tell you, I cleaned house!
You dangle an incentive like that in front of me and I’m gonna’ do my best to get straight-As!
Then, my parents added another incentive. They put a jar with each of our names in their closet. If we wanted to keep the money in the jar and it reached $1000, they would match it and open a savings account in our name.
What do you think that taught me?
Imma’ gonna’ tell you right now.
It taught me that I would make money by doing something good and right. But … that’s not all! I would get a bonus validation to my existence by saving that money because someone would come alongside me and match that saved amount, which, of course, would double my money! Who doesn’t want that? Ok, maybe not everyone.
But we all know that doesn’t happen in the real world.
Now, so many years later, I struggle with the concept of finding my niche (or genre, if you will) in writing. The type of writing I have been doing lately doesn’t seem to be a popular niche. Either that or my style doesn’t attract the masses, so I tell myself this story: I’m not very good.
Since I knew deep in my soul that it was a lie, I took that whole bit of garbage and flipped it.
What if I am invited by God to write the things that bring me joy and put it out into the world and one or more people tell me they enjoy my writing and get something out of it? What if the journey is about understanding and persisting and showing up and enjoying myself rather than putting a $ amount on it?
What if?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I have never chased after money. And it shows in the way I live and carry myself. I’m not poor. I’m privileged in many ways. I own that and am incredibly grateful. I also do my best not to flaunt my privilege. I recognize where it comes from and I thank God every day for the gifts given to me.
But y’all … in order for me to get here … to understand and be grateful … I had to do a whole lot of letting go.
I didn’t figure that out by running around “doing.”
Here’s the other lightbulb moment: the amount of stinkin’ thinkin’ that whirled around in my head needed to be tossed out with the trash that it was. One of the reasons I struggled with “being” is my attachment to my thoughts — negative thoughts.
Negative thoughts tend to create a sense of fear, which causes you to get stuck.
Instead of worrying about what kind of money I’m making on everything I write, why not enjoy the process? Yes, the “likes” are great, but it doesn’t validate who I am.
So what about you?
Are there ways you can be more of who you are intended to be and “do” less?
Here’s some simple tips:
Be intentional to take time every day to pause. It only needs to be 5 minutes max. If you want or need more time, then add more time.
Be intentional to engage in activities that bring a smile to your heart. If reading is your thing, then read. If flying planes is your thing, then go fly planes. If rappelling off buildings or bouldering is your thing, be safe and do that. You get the idea.
Be intentional to disconnect from technology and social media on a regular basis. Years ago, I remember being at a workshop where the host said that once a year he disconnected from all things technology-based, including phones. No emails. No phone calls. No doom scrolling. Nada. I have attempted to do this once a week on a very irregular basis. It’s not easy, so I can’t imagine doing it for an entire month, but I hope to one day.
If you work in a chaotic and busy office or have a crazy schedule, be intentional to take a hard break in the middle of the day to go for a walk, do some breathing exercises, or just stare out the window.
Did you notice how many times I used the word “intentional”? That was intentional. ✌🏽
You have to have intent. You gotta’ wanna’ do it. Otherwise, you’ll fake it. Now, maybe faking it until you make it will work for you, but you still have to be intentional to start the process.
Remember, this isn’t about completely eliminating things from your life or not “doing” everything. You have responsibilities and stuff to do. The aim is to find the balance between doing and being.
Being is just as important as doing. So, go out and be the best version of yourself!
Refresh your soul and let that have its ripple effect in the world.
May you know that you are loved because you matter.
May your soul be refreshed.
sdg © Nancy Blackman